Big Decisions

This time I don’t feel like responding to a quote. Instead, I will just write about what is currently on my mind. It will probably end up being all over the place, but I need to get it all out. I don’t even know what it is, but I know I need to write it down somewhere.

Anyway, I am worried. I am worried about my friend. She is really down lately and it feels like I don’t know the entire story. I am worried about my cousin. She already lost one year because she had to repeat junior year of high school (because she went on an exchange). She was studying psychology in Scotland, but now feels like studying communications (or something like that) in Austria or Germany. She also wants to improve her Italian, but she doesn’t know any German. Also, she wants to travel (which is fine, don’t get me wrong. I also want to travel, that is partly why I came to the US again, but I am also taking school and getting my degree seriously. She is just all over the place, wants to do so many things right now and at the same time, and it worries me). I am also worried about my future. Did I come to a good college? Is it good for finding a job? Did I choose a good major? Will I be able to do it well? Will I find a job after in the US or will I go do my masters? Will I get in a good school for masters? Will I get a scholarship for masters? Will I go home? Will I see my brother soon?

I like it here. I enjoy being here, playing tennis and just being in college. But I still miss my family and I am worried because now I am supposed to make big decisions. I am supposed to be an adult. I guess that worry is a normal part of adulthood. We all just need to get used to it. We just need to figure out what are we supposed to do and what is expected of us. We need to fulfill our role in this world and it is normal that certain things are expected of us. We need to accept it and try to do I as best as possible.

On some days, I don’t think about it at all. However, on days like this, it gets overwhelming. There is so many things to do, so much to learn. It is crazy. I need to take it all step-by-step. That way I will be certain I will do it correctly.

I don’t even know what I wrote. I won’t edit it or anything, I will post it like this. My mind is a mess right now, so many things are constantly on my mind so I want to show you guys how I feel 😉

Also, it feels good to just write. I really enjoy it. I will try to write something every day now. Maybe even two things a day. I will see. I just know it feels good. It feels liberating. I really like it. Hopefully, I will improve and get new ideas about what I can write on my page. I don’t want you guys to be bored while reading this. I just need to come up with something. Something good.


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